Friday, June 14, 2013

Life in southern Russian village

The fact is that my parents are from different parts of Russia: my dad is from South, while mom is from North of Russia. Their love story deserves to be written in a novel about external hardships and obstacles in love. Though I’m proud of my parents because in spite of all distances they managed to stay together and to make the strongest family I’ve ever seen. Finally, after a lot of discussions where they should live they end up living in the North. So my grandparents from my dad’s side were living far from us. I don’t remember my grandfather as he died when I was 2. Although every summer “a visit to our grandmother in the village” was a big event for us. When I grew up and my granny got older I tried to see her at least twice a year: in summer and in winter during my university vacations. Though the “summer at grandma’s” remains a special concept in my mind. So here I am now – in this familiar at every detail house, in the warm Southern village near city Rostov-on-Don. Nobody gets younger with the lapse of time so my grandma is pretty old now (she is almost 88) and I’m realizing that if she passes away this my tradition of coming here and spending a part of the summer here will also go away with her. And the essential part of my life will now will end, because the house, the village, the flowers, this place in general will never be the same without her. So this time being here I started remembering all my summers here and moments and details that I liked or didn’t like about living at grandma’s.

— 1) The most agonizing duty in the kitchen here is washing dishes. The absence of running water is the worst part of the absence of services and utilities. The water here goes from a special pipe and is pretty expensive so you can’t wash dishes with it. So you have to get water from the well (the water is extracted from the well by a pump), and heat it in the basin where you wash dishes after. In short words, it’s really complicated process. For the same reason you can’t use any detergents because without running water it’s hard to clean this agent after. So if the dishes are greasy (what it is in most cases) you have to use household soda. Also there isn’t any special sponges for washing, you should wash with some tissue which gets dirty pretty soon. Seriously, I have no idea how my granny could do that every day often even several times a day! We were ready to wash the whole house to avoid washing dishes.






+ 2) A cozy white and blue house which we recognized from afar and which makes us happy. Long time ago it was an elementary school, and when the main building for the village school was built, they gave this house to my grandparents. When it was a school, rooms for sure were big enough, that’s why now some “walls” are actually made from cardboard and have carlets on them to hide it. For example, such “wall” separates a kitchen and a “cat’s house” (actually, this room is something like storeroom, but it’s called “cat’s house” because the cat is always closed there if he is stealing food from the table or when it’s cold outside in winter). A part of the house is just closed and isn’t used at all, windows are locked there. It was always a secrete and frightening part of the house for children. First of all, it was always dark there and it you want to turn on the light you have to pass through a dark room because there was no light from outside. Secondly, we always believed in our childhood that there lived families of huge rats so if you enter these rooms barefooted (we never wore shoes in the house or in courtyard) they would bite you.
— 3) If you wanted to have a bath you should heat the water in a heavy huge pot, then standing wet in a bath you have to mix it with cold water which runs pretty slowly so you are getting cold by yourself till you’ll have the water with an appropriate temperature. Now you can understand my happiness when 2 years ago my grandma bought a shower cubicle and now we can have a NORMAL shower any time.

+ 4) An incredible amounts of various fruits every day. They are bought on the everyday market very early in the morning (at about 6-7 am). I managed to wake up for it only about 3 times for all my time spent here though my grandma does it every Tuesday!

+ 5) Fresh milk from the cow which is brought by my grandma’s friend every 3 days

+ 6) Big apricot trees near the window: almost every year the courtyard was completely covered with its fruits. Even if we gathered all of them in the evening, in the morning it was impossible again to come out of the house without stepping on fruits. There is a funny story that when I was 5 years old my elder sister was obliged to watch me to prevent from eating fruits from the ground without cleaning. And so once she didn’t notice how I picked a fruit from the ground and put in mouth. She cried at me: “Spit it out right away!” I looked at her, chew for a while and spitted out a stone.  Sounds like me.

+ 7) A vegetable garden with potatoes: when I was a kid I was allowed only to kill Colorado potato beetle with rocks, then when I grew up I was picking up potatoes from the holes made by my dad. Now I can dig potatoes out myself.

8) A permanent murmuring of wild pigeons and hoarse cries of roosters in the morning

9) My first fear of darkness: it is completely dark at night in the village, so when I was a child I always asked to leave the light on in the hall. While lying in the darkness I was imagining robbers getting into our house to kill us. And my grandmother wouldn’t wake up even if I would cry because she has problems with hearing. So I was really scared. Now I even enjoy this darkness, and it’s not actually complete as there is always a moon lighting.  

10) Tons of relatives with a “favorite question”. When I was studying the question was “How is school?” Now the question is “When are you going to get married?” (it doesn’t matter if I have a boyfriend or not at the moment)

11) My grandma’s friends to whose house we went to practice piano (me and my sister studied at music school so it was important to practice almost every day). We played one by one and went to look at their muskrats.

12) Big photos of my grandfather (I don’t remember him alive) – it seemed to me that his eyes were always following me everywhere with attention.

13) My  grandmother’s stories about grandfather and their past. She met him when she was almost 30 and he was 10 years older. They were very happy together and even now 21 years after his death she is still missing him and talking about him every day. Yesterday she told me the story how he proposed her. He just said that he already filled the application for the registry office so everything is already decided. She was a little bit shocked by that statement but he just never doubted that she loved him. My grandmother never had any jewelry because she just didn’t get used to them. Her wedding ring was the only ring she ever had, but when my father got married they needed money and my granny gave sold her wedding ring.

14) A huge bookcase with tons of interesting books I was reading a lot every summer. At school I was obliged to read books from certain “summer list”, after it I was just reading for a pleasure.

15) My grandma’s best friend who almost lives with her in winter and who is the biggest tale-bearer ever. She is a specialist at all “affairs of the heart”.Though she is super nice and loves the whole our family like her own.

16) Saying “hello” to every person you meet in the village even you don’t know most of the people you meet. And in the supermarket you should say: “It’s for my granny Maria…” and the assistance would understand right away what exactly to give you.

17) Everyday question from my grandma: “What to cook for you today?” (even if the fridge is already full of delicious meals)

18) A village church is just opposite our house so we hear an iron ringing of church bells every Sunday morning
19) A lot of flowers in the courtyard, tons of mosquitoes, no Internet and phone service almost not available in the house, best delicacies: amazing honey, fresh grilled fish (it’s the best dish of my grandma) and boiled crayfishes
20) huge bags full of jars with squash and eggplant pastes, with honey and jam, and full of Circassian walnuts

21) my first fishing and the only one little mouse in my life who was caught into trap

22) riding crazy motorbike and swimming without clothes

23) permanent laziness

24) it’s hard to understand what is a dill, what is a parsley and what is just random grass in the vegetable garden, when grandma sent you to cut some parsley for a borsch (a traditional Russian soup)

25) The same poems that my grandma is citing every year and which everyone already know by heart

26) Always opened entrance door (it’s closed only at night) so that everyone just enters the house and goes to find the hostess

27) Our coach where me and my sister one summer were drinking Argentinean cocktails she brought from Spain and watching stupid Hollywood comedies

28) A noise of trains behind the river every night

29) My grandma’s attempts to protect me from any local guy’s attention. Something like that: our neighbour young guy who were interested in me, comes to talk and my grandma is around all the time asking what we are talking about or trying to make up some tasks for me to shorten out conversation. Now it sounds funny for me, though at that time I was really annoyed by such control.

30) Imagined that I was a princess secretly living in my country palace (you can’t imagine it in the city apartments, right?)

I’m so thankful to my Granny for this part of my life and for everything she is doing for us, for her patience and understanding and especially for her immutable wisdom. And I’m so sorry for her forced solitude most of the year here, because all of us are far away and her husband is dead. Now I understand so deeply that you should appreciate the person you love and who loves you now, today, because tomorrow it could be late…


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