Yesterday my friend asked me what target audience my
stories address. I wasn’t really ready to answer that question so I asked him
what his opinion is. And he told me that my stories can have some political
influence because they talk about women, their perception of the world, their creativity,
about their way of self-expressing etc. He also told me that my stories can
inspire women to talk, to write, to develop their personalities. But the thing
is that I never thought of it. I was just writing about feelings and emotions
that were close to me, that I knew by my own experience. And I didn’t think
about addressing someone particular, for me these stories were about everyone.
This conversation made me thinking about the problem of feminism and sexism in
my own model of the world and in my country.
Today we also had a discussion about sexism in Russian
culture in my department, where we talked about Pussy Riots, Femen and even
sexism in Russian literature. This discussion made me shape couple of ideas of
how I see that problem in Russia. First of all, sometimes I don’t see a problem
in that sphere at all. Even the opposite thing: a lot of women in Russia who
talk about “gender discrimination” and “women rights” actually want men to
remain “gentlemen” and “knights” which means carrying heavy bags, paying for
jewelry and cocktails in the bar, taking care of all the problems, etc. Those
women like the phrase “Can’t you just be a man?!” But they start shouting about
“women rights” as soon as their men limit their “freedom” to make career
instead of taking care of the family, to hang out in clubs with friends instead
of making dinner for their husbands, etc. Those women want to see “knight”
around but they don’t want to live in the Middle Ages. I mean, ok, if to be a
man means to be a gentleman and to feed and to defend his family, then what
means to be a woman? To be a beautiful precious thing for a man to take care
of, a carefree creature with a freedom to do whatever she wants? Then how about
a sexism of judging a woman only by her appearance? Having certain rights
always mean having certain responsibilities on the other side.
Another story is about homosexuality in Russia. I feel
like I have to say that yes, it’s not familiar for Russian culture. It has
never been. And those who say that it’s a Western influence are right. Russia
as a country was created on a pretty poor land with infertile soils, with
severe climate, between Asia and Europe, both of whom always tried to conquer
Russia. You will never find any homosexuality mentioned in Russian folklore, in
Russian historical documents, in Russian culture. People just didn’t have time
for that, they had sex to make children (because half of them was dying in
their early childhood) and they fell asleep right after a long, full of hard
work day. They didn’t have time and forces to ponder over their “sexual
identity”.
Time passes and the world changes. Russia also doesn’t
remain at the same place; it’s a modern country now. So it’s great that young
people become more open-minded, that they ask their identities, they explore their
personalities and their sexuality, they experiment with their bodies. The thing
is that we can’t discuss sexism and homosexuality in Russia the same way as we
do it in European countries or United States. That’s why, unfortunately, these
notions are used pretty often as a commercial trick or government’s ruse to
distract people’s attention from urgent economic and political problems of the
country. In short words, it’s sometimes hard to say whether this is your real
identity or it was imposed by the mass media.
I grew up in a family where a husband isn’t ashamed of
cooking, cleaning and sitting with kids even every day if his wife has a lot of
work to do. It doesn’t mean that his wife doesn’t do the same things when he
works a lot or when she just has a free time. There was never a question who
earns money and who takes care of the house and kids in my family, there was
never a question who has more rights or who has more freedom. There was only a
question who loves more. And everyone (including us, kids) wanted to win in
this competition. And there were always fragrant coffee on Sunday made by my
father and delicious breakfasts made by my mother. There are always fresh
flowers in our house because my father is a real gentleman, and my mother is a
real lady who makes my father want to be a gentleman.
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