Friendship.

I know it sounds pretty banal but I had to write this triple set (Family, Friendship, Love) because right now I’m pondering over these three questions a lot. Yes, questions not notions. Although, the most popular question of recent 50 000 years was “What is love?” two other words are not determined either. Everyone can give his own definition of family or friendship. And who can guarantee that any of these three substances exist at all. Life is what we think about it, n’est pas?

The biggest question for me is what is actually the difference between love and close friendship (if not consider sexual issues)? My mom has some friends she met back at the university but they have never been very close, they have never been what are called “best friends”. Her “best friend” was always my dad, the closest person to her in the world, the one she shared every emotion and every thought with. She meets with her friends a couple of times a year but that’s about it. I can’t really call that friendship.

As for me, I’ve gone through the same experience when my boyfriend was everything for me – boyfriend, lover and best friend. And I really felt as I didn’t need anyone else, he was enough for me. We were what love stories like to describe as “two became the one”. Well, it didn’t end up well. One shouldn’t be the whole world for another.

So my best and closest friend was always my sister, who I can entrust everything, who loves me as I am and who understands me perfectly. But you know, it’s about sisters, it’s about family. So I was still curious if it’s possible for me to find the person who is not relative and to feel what means to have a best friend, what friendship can give you in addition to love relations. For me, friendship is still one of the forms of love. I love my best friend, I feel so happy being around her, seeing her smile, dancing with her, looking into her eyes and chatting with her for hours. Every time I see her, I want to hug her, to take her hand, and to kiss her. It’s not about sexual attraction, it’s about love. It’s about feeling secure, not alone. It’s what I need: to see that I’m not alone in my ideas, in my feelings, in my emotions; to hear that she likes the same things, that she has the same feelings and emotions; to know that she understands me as nobody else. And every time when she tells me exactly the words that I need at that time, when she brings me to the places that I love right away, when she even guesses precisely the color of the scarf that I like, I know we are more than just friends. So… does actually friendship exist for me? Not really sure…