I’ll think about it tomorrow

Tomorrow everything will change; tomorrow I’ll start a new life. That’s what I keep promising myself like three-four times a week. It works the best with Sundays because Monday is a perfect day to start a new week with a new life. It sounds even more significant with New Year and My Birthday – those are important points in the whole year when you feel the time passing by you and you… basically doing nothing to perfect yourself. Pretty frustrating feeling. On the other hand, it’s so tempting to give yourself a little handicap: today you still can be imperfect and enjoy your small foibles. As your new life starts only tomorrow.

I always liked imagining that there is a movie about me going on and I’m playing in it. So tomorrow morning camera will be focused on me from the very first moment of my waking up. I used to prepare every small detail to enter a new life fully equipped: I take a shower, I color my nails, I put my favorite silver chain on my neck, I put all things in my room in order…

You are telling yourself that NOW it’s the right TIME to start your great way to an ideal person. You are lying in your bed in the darkness of night and imagining how bright, shining and fresh tomorrow will come to your room with a first sun beam and you’ll get up with an amazing feeling of renovation… Usually, it lasts not longer than till the first annoying remark of one of your relatives or the first chocolate cake on the table. On lucky days it can last till the evening of the day and you might even feel satisfied with an efficiently passed day. But then something happens and you come back to your habitual “vicious” life style.

 This week for the million first times I promised myself a new life with arranging priorities, with hard work to achieve my goals. As usually starting from tomorrow. But tomorrow came with a bad headache: migraines that happen to me once in a week or two. And I spent the whole day partially trying to focus on something partially sleeping. I got my lesson. Tomorrow might never happen. I learnt to value these wonderful days when my head is clear and I can write, think, create, sing and play music. I learnt to catch this great moments when I am able to do everything I want to. Because I am  young, because I have a lot of energy, because I have so many opportunities, because I am healthy: I can move, laugh, look, hear! I can dance. I can dance with my life. And there is no point in waiting for tomorrow.