02/09/2013
Don’t even remember what the day is today. Probably
I’m just tired. Reading
‘Candid’ by Voltaire – his sarcasm about determinism - and thinking that
actually it’s one of the biggest things that help me to sustain hard times.
When you can believe that all these damn things happening to you are just
determined (to train you, to check you, to make good times that will come after
more desirable and enjoyable) and that they just had to happen, you can stand
and see the point in struggling it. So that’s how I see it now – I have to go
through these long distance relations to learn being more patient and wise,
less selfish and rude, to appreciate and see them as one of the most precious
things in my world.
The other thing is that when you are so tired you want
to come home. Home which means not anyone except you! Not these annoying
neighbors, not this pestered roommate. I know she is ok, but she annoys me with
everything, just her present in this room annoys me. It’s horrible, it wasn’t
like that in the beginning. But when you are tired you don’t want to be nice
with people.
From past thoughts – good music can create a feeling
of infinity from movies.
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