02/15/2013

02/15/2013

Suddenly found out a pleasant thing – it’s the middle of February already! So great that February is short month – it’s even a little bit more than a half of the month gone. Then it’ll be March and then my favorite month and a complete happiness. And anyway there will be some certainty. At least some. Cause I’m tired of trying “not to think about it”. And I hope this freaking weather will be gone – I’m not good at dealing with this grey sky every day. The amazing bright sun showed up only for 2 days and now a despondency of the world came back. Well, I’m not that bad with this being warm and safe at home, drinking delicious tea with lemon and honey in a SILENCE of our section (all these yelling freshmen left for classes – I’m so much enjoying it).

Wanted to write for last three days but… May be it’s laziness, maybe I’m just tired in the evening so that I don’t have enough moral forces to make myself speak. Anyway here we are. As I have now some additional free time I have to use it for self-developing and self-educating. Means museums, books, movies, music, news and languages, languages, languages. Still feel that I don’t study them enough. I don’t enrich my vocabulary; I’m kind of passive in my working on English and French.

Another thing is creative work. I have time for it and for people I love but I don’t use it efficiently. I have to write, to make surprises to my family and friends, to Brian, develop my talents. I’m going to sit down and to ponder what I can do for everyone. Because I have so many creating forces just hidden and sleeping inside me. So let’s WAKE them UP!

Yesterday in a subway. It’s Valentine’s Day. A guy next to me – nothing special, headphones in ears, an I-phone in hands, reading something on it. I’m taking a squint at his phone – he opened the conversation of texts with someone. Looking at the addressee – it’s “my love”. I think how cute it is and how sensitive the guy should be. He is opening the music he is listening to. It’s Leningrad, hard rock. I’m trying to correlate these two facts in my mind. In vain. He is coming back to reading. I see the title of the chapter – “Encyclopedia. Four images of love”. Sounds like Plato or Aristotle. I got confused completely. Leningrad, my love and philosophy. A great mix for the guy of early twenties.

Yesterday was the day of love. There are too many words and thoughts of it in the world. Guys with flowers and presents everywhere. Seems sweet but… For me the biggest present would be just to see him and never let us separate. He wrote me that was thinking about sending me flowers but they would be dead during that long way so he offered a “rain-check”. I really love the notion of this word – like there is rain situation between us now, but next year it’ll be sunny and we’ll have a great Valentine’s Day. And you know what is meaningful? He is going to Paris so we can talk again only next Wednesday. But the feeling of being glad and happy for him because he will see the city he dreamed about and enjoy French language he also like a lot is much stronger than a grief for not seeing him for so long and a torture that he is much closer to me (only few hours far) but I can’t see him. I think that is love. It’s simple. And that’s him who taught me it.