09/24/2012

09/24/2012

Two nightmarish days. And you call this “weekend”???

 Incredibly difficult texts in reading part of TOEFL, 6 lectures on different subjects in listening. My brain was dead after these two first parts. However, speaking wasn’t so hard as I expected it to be and writing was admissible, though I didn’t have enough time to reread my second essay. Hopefully, not so many mistakes.

*I really need coffee. I don’t have one anymore. I need it right now!*

And all this horror movie with getting this stupid center in time in the morning: with taxi driving me to the wrong address, with an absence of any signs on the doors and floors to find this center and with broken elevator. Pure adrenaline. Plus thin cardboard squares between computers instead of barriers and a small room for about 7 people.

Anyway I’ve done with it. After leaving a building I felt really ruined and I awfully need a tonic as coffee or chocolate. In a shopping mall they didn’t have any place with good coffee to take out. I was getting depressed, and then in the subway stall I decided to buy a chocolate. A sale woman was arranging new goods and when I asked her if she could serve me she looked at me as I was blank without even paying attention to what I’ve asked. I damned and left. I felt as I hated this country because even if you pay a lot of money you risk having really poor service and unaffordable attitude toward you and because most of these unskilled salesmen just don’t care about their profit and could not care a damn about you wanting them to serve you. I hate this attitude toward me everywhere – as you are nothing! Unless you  have a lot of money to appeal only to reliable places of high-class level or you have powerful friends (or lovers) who provide everything for you, you are going to face this “you are nothing, wait outside the door” just about everywhere (especially if you are a student – I can’t believe how I managed to live my first year here!). I can’t stand it! I know much more that these miserable office small fry and I depend on them? It’s ridiculous!

In a subway car I saw two puppies in the cage being transported by a woman – they were so cute and sweet that I smiled and my mood has been elevated. Finally, I felt as things would be set up and I would realize my dreams.

Sunday was even harder – first day of teaching English. Such a mess in the head and in discipline. It is hard – 3 hours of studying foreign language for 12-14-age teenagers is inconvenient. And a program is pretty scrappy, that’s why it was difficult to keep everything in mind. Well, anyway you like challenges – that was one of them.

It was an evening of communication – 4 phone calls and scype with Inara. Warm and cozy. I love them all…­ But it aggravates my anguish – I miss Inara, Brian, Sarah and Coline a lot. I was so happy to have all of them with me… Well, I should work to see all of them again. ­­